A Day and a Life of Haikus By: Christie and Mallory

Christie Towne & Mallory McKey

Breaton

EWC 4U

Tuesday April 28th, 2015

                                                     A Day and a Life of Haikus

I wake up, reluctant

It’s only seven a.m.

God, this is stupid

I should do my hair

Way too early to function

I can’t find my pants

Eating cereal

Oh shit, I’m late for the bus

I tripped on the dog

Got to catch the bus

Well, nobody mentioned rain

I can’t feel my feet

No place to sit down

You look like you are thirty

How come you are here?

Look at my friends

Driving all their fancy cars

I need my G2

Arriving in Hell

I’ve been here for four years now

These hallways are small

I hate these people

Why do niners exist?

Get out of the hall

You have the whole hall

Stop standing in the middle

It shows that you’re new

Learn to survive

This place has made me a man

Let me go home now

I fell down the steps

I think I fractured something

Just my dignity

It’s time for first now

I wish I was still sleeping

I need a coffee

God, I hate numbers

What is the metric system?

I am no Einstein

Biomechanics

A pop quiz on a Monday?

Makes me want to die

Such a low average

Damn, I forgot to study

I am going to fail

I want to drop out

I’ll just become a rockstar

JK, “Fries with that?”

Now time for gym class

Really do you even lift?

Go hard or go home

You people smell bad

No you can not just use axe

Go take a shower

You’re such a try hard

This isn’t the Olympics

Please just calm yourself

Finally on spare

The caf has no tasty food

Time to hit the Pen

Lunch time comes around

Great, every grade ten is here

You travel in packs

Yeah, those are not pants

Why is every girl naked?

You need the bible

Are you kidding me?

Daisy dukes and a tank top

It’s negative twelve

Big party last night

Half the kids are hungover

You are looking bad

Why so much make-up?

You look like you are plastic

So much for natural

I want to go home

God dammit, it’s still raining

On my way back now

Puddles all around

I am singing in the rain

I’m wet in class now

Glue? Macaroni?

Why is this a 4U class?

Crayons are for kids

A substitute?

I don’t need supervision

I’m an adult!

There’s a knitting team?

Oh boy, I should really join

I have two left hands

Eyes are watching me

We don’t need all these pictures

Art can be scary

I hate my classes

Should have took basket weaving

I miss the summer

University

Applications everywhere

I am so screwed

These notes are stupid

When will they even help me?

I just need a break

Breaton, how could you?

Stop with all of this homework

I hate PoMo notes

We’re doing haikus

No this is not postmodern

Or maybe it is…

Postmodernism

Seventy pages later

No really, I quit

Reading Klages

Is this even English?

I don’t understand

What is a plot line?

Who cares about the setting?

I’m not taking notes

I’m smart enough now

Stop killing my social life

I don’t need Cornell

I am so tired

I haven’t slept in three days

Red Bull lifestyle

Everyone's angry

Being a teenager’s hard

The hormones are real

This is fabulous

I’m use to these sleepless nights

Ha-ha, what is sleep?

It’s due tomorrow

Computer deleted it

Get mad, start again

I need good grades

Trying for a scholarship

OSAP here I come!

A humble giant

You make English class awesome

We love you, Kitchen

You’re not a T-Rex

Stop jumping around the room

Just shut up, Maxwell

Wow, it’s the new kid

Yes, plaid is a lifestyle

Let’s make fun of him

Okay then buddy

You have a higher average

I will shut up now

Quiet in the back

Oh ye of the flowing locks

You’re so majestic

Your hands in the air

You so don’t know higher math

Breaton is mad now

Red hair and redneck

You are so not a farmer

Go ride a tractor

Only shows sometimes

Do you even take this class?

You have lovely hair

Zero on grammar?

This always happens to me

Forgot MLA

My one saving grace

Teacher says to partner up

I’m looking at you

Oh my God, I’m blind

The world is spinning so fast

Got hit with a sheep

The innuendos

Atonement is not that great

Victorian sucks

This day needs to end

Screaming uncontrollably

I dropped my pencil

Trying to talk here

I’m so done with this bullshit

Get off Clash of Clans

Are you listening?

No! Boom Beach is not better

Put the iPad down

I’m falling asleep

This class is getting boring

I think I’ll go now

In the washroom now

Really? You need more make-up?

I just need to pee

This isn’t your home

Wow, I can’t get to the sink

Stop brushing your teeth

You look like a douche

Got the flow, and the snap back

Please, pull up your pants

Why do you do this?

Faces cover the locker

It’s just a birthday

Please stop laying down

The halls are not your bedroom

I’m trying to walk

What are you doing?

You’ll see him next period

Please stop making out

So many people

I can’t wait to graduate

I don’t fit in here

Back in the class room

Look we’re on the news again

Another bomb threat?

Criminal record

I don’t really blame you though

No one likes late marks

Now the time has come

I survived another day

Mission accomplished

I can’t stand the bus

Want to give me a ride?

I have nice friends

Now we have freedom

Vehicular manslaughter

Run over the nines

Okay, don’t hit them

You always ruin my fun

Don’t hit the tree though

You should slow down now

You’re going forty over

I don’t want to die

Made it home alive

I don’t want to start homework

I just want to sleep

Procrastination

Electronics distract me

No attention span

So much to do now

I can’t decide how to start

Better take a nap