Diary of an Insomniac -- Jillian Ripmeester

Diary of an Insomniac

2:15 am

Dear Diary,

My eyes are met by the two on the clock once again. I’ve been waiting for them to feel heavy with exhaustion for a while now but they remain open wide and unresponsive to my many attempts at making myself more tired. It’s been two weeks since I’ve slept more than an hour a night. It’s funny when you’ve been awake for so long, the hours all seem to blur into one. The world almost seems to stand still around you. None of my friends are awake at two in the morning, they’re luckier than I am and can fall asleep before midnight hits. Even social media remains silent as the number of hours between you and the last thing tweeted begin to increase as the hours tick by.

2:30 am

Dear Diary,

    Don’t look at yourself in the mirror when you haven’t slept well in two weeks. My face has started to show the signs of fatigue that I dreaded were going to come eventually. My eyes that used to shine with energy and excitement in the daytime now are etched with red lines and underlined by heavy bags. The signs of exhaustion are evident to even the most oblivious of people. My best friend commented that it’s beginning to look like the red lines in my eyes are forming a map and the bags underneath them are the luggage. My other friend told me that it looks like I’ve mastered the art of the resting bitch face. Ever since then, I’ve started to try to conceal my face with the heaviest and most expensive makeup you can buy at the grocery store.

3:30 am

Dear Diary,

    You have not experienced true cuisine until you’ve made yourself a grilled cheese sandwich at three in the morning. I’m not sure what it is about being awake at night and food, but everything fit together so nicely. It was an explosion of yummy, stringy cheese. It was sublime.

4:30 am

Dear Diary,

    Sleep still hasn’t come. It’s been five hours since I got ready for bed. It seems kind of pointless to put pajamas on and get comfy in my bed if I know that sleep is not going to come, but I do it anyway. Books have become my best friends during these long nights and I often find myself getting through them at a rapid pace. The hours go by surprisingly quick when you’re reading a book, and every night I find myself looking up from my book to find my room getting gradually lighter. My new favourite pastime is watching as the stars fade away and are replaced by the transitioning colours of the morning sky. Purples and pinks fill the sky, giving way to a soft yellow, until the sun comes fully out and sweeps the other colours away to cover the sky in blue. It’s beautiful.

5:30 am

Dear Diary,

It is now an hour and a half before I have to get up for school.  I can feel my eyes starting to get heavy. Finally. The sky is blue already, it gets bright earlier and earlier as the month goes by and summer approaches. I know that I have to get up soon, but maybe, just maybe, I can close my eyes for just a second. Goodnight.